Archie shuddered as His Lordship took the shining butter knife and very delicately spread a generous coat of butter across his belly; the steel was cold, but the sensation exquisite. And when Edrington bent low, lapping up the butter with the fastidiousness of a finicky cat, there was nothing Archie could do but wriggle on the silk sheets and moan.

"My lord!" he gasped.

"The proper way to enjoy crumpet. I prefer them piping hot before I have them. Now hold still."

"Aye, my lord."

This time, Archie squeaked as Edrington's knife smeared butter down the inside of one thigh.